Wit or Wisdom

(Note, all of the characters in this post are absolutely real. The situations are completely factual, and some of my regular readers will know, or be able to guess who the character’s real names are, and what their real persons are. All characters are referred to as males for the sake of more confusion, whether they are really male or not is a mystery to you. If you think you might know, and are wondering, you can send me an e-mail. But I’d rather you just read the post and think about the lesson it has to offer.)

There are times in your life when your entire perspective becomes suddenly, or perhaps gradually, changed. I’m not talking about the ever-shifting outlook that is a part of anyone’s life, but rather, a total change in idea about some point of view, or some major aspect of life. Or perhaps, it is a change in how you react to things.

Feeling can be a terrible thing. Especially when your entire life is run by it. I know a person, we’ll call him Joseph, who runs his life entirely on whatever feeling he has at the moment. Joseph is schizophrenic. Joseph also struggles with depression, and is likely bipolar. No, Joseph is not figment of my imagination. Joseph is sadly real. Joseph was not always this way. There was a time when Joseph was loving, served his family well, and was the model of everything a man in his position should be. What happened? Well, Joseph was always a proud man. It was perhaps his biggest flaw, his Achilles Heel of sorts. The time would come, when he needed help, he would seek none because of his pride. Even though those around him begged and pleaded with him to get the help he needed, he refused, stubbornly clinging to his own twisted feelings. Joseph’s pride prevented him from getting what was a desperate necessity, until the day would come when a judge, and the officer of the law, would have to force him to get the desperate necessity fulfilled. It was too late for Joseph. Now, years later, Joseph wallows in a heap of despair, hurting all those he comes in contact with, but so hurt himself, and so much still clinging to his pride, that he cannot, and will not, see the results of his sin. Joseph never allowed his perspective, his feelings, to be influenced, and now Joseph, Joseph’s family, and the friends who still cling to naive, worthless hope, will never be the same. Why? Because Joseph refused to trust anyone except his own feelings.

Other times, feelings can be a good thing, if we learn from them. A few years ago, another friend of mine, this one we will call Andrew, was hurt by feelings. Feelings of trust that trusted too much which he should not have trusted. Why? The reason was twofold. Firstly, he had not verified the “trustability” of those he was trusting. It was not their fault they could not be trusted, for after all, they were young and naive as well. The second reason was, he himself could not be trusted. He was a dangerous person, manipulative and generally caring only for what he wanted. He was a superior actor, capable of fooling anyone he so pleased to fool. He was long viewed as a “golden boy,” a child prodigy, capable of doing anything he wanted. On the inside, he was not by definition evil, but saw only his own benefit. Then came the time when he was hurt. Twice in fact. Once, he trusted people, another time, he laid everything he had on the line for a dream. It was a tangible dream, perhaps even, in another set of circumstances, an accomplishable one. Both the people, and the thing, failed him. He was left with nothing to turn to, and one person could see it. For some unexplainable reason, this person he could not fool. Perhaps it was because he finally saw the futility of attempting to live as a fake. Perhaps he was desperate. At first, he felt pushed, frustrated by a prodding that he thought frequently invaded his privacy, feeling put upon. But he still clung to it, for his own good, though not knowing it at the time. Eventually, through the constant prayer and pointing by this mystery person in the Proper Direction, he came to understand trust, to the point where his new-found friend marvels that he understands it, or at least applies it, even better than the friend himself does. Recently, that trust suddenly became necessary. It was time for Andrew to put his feelings out there, on the line once again. This time Andrew had learned, however. Andrew had not only learned to verify whether the people he was working with could be trusted, but he himself was able to be trusted. Finally.

Andrew does not know the future. Andrew has not claimed to arrive. Yet Andrew, along with his faithful friend who taught him so much, and the people that his faithful friend have helped him to learn to trust, are still learning. Unlike Joseph who will no longer learn anything, because his mind has gone, but his pride has not, Andrew has so much ahead of him. Perhaps Andrew, along with his new friends, will succeed. Perhaps he will fail. But most probably, he’ll just learn to trust. Learn to trust with regard to his feeling, as he has learned so overwhelmingly as of late. And perhaps he will learn two greater lessons. One, that feeling can change, and we must not let pride get in its way. And second, that feeling, like everything else, must be trusted to God, and trusted to those around us. If it is not, Andrew could end up like Joseph.

I’m praying that Andrew learns those lessons.